


you call me up and turn me on

by soulffles



Category: Villainous (Cartoon)
Genre: F/M, also i think they both have a thing for overly schmaltzy pet names and that's that on that, demencia is too powerful god save us all and most importantly black hat, she has no boundaries and no mercy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-13
Updated: 2019-03-13
Packaged: 2019-11-16 12:18:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,078
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18094172
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soulffles/pseuds/soulffles
Summary: If Black Hat wasn't considered immortal, Demencia would definitely be sending him to an early grave, and he cannot stress this enough.





	you call me up and turn me on

**Author's Note:**

> demencia tops black hat pass it on

He’s on the first leg of the meeting when she calls.

He lets his phone ring, buried deep somewhere in one of his coat pockets. Blasted thing has too many. He reminds himself to write a reminder in his phone to buy a new one, just as soon as he remembers how to do that.

That reminds him; what a wretched generation he’s in with their wretched smartphones and their wretched demand for speedy interface. Everything is too quick-paced, and everyone is too involved. He prefers the good old days, where sending a crow off with a handwritten letter attached to a stone pebble was deemed more acceptable.

She calls again, the accursed object blaring out a long, suspended loop of excruciatingly annoying default sounds that he doesn’t remember setting. She can go to voicemail, he thinks, because he’s Top Shit under this roof and all these other goons (these goons being the much smaller, weaker villains) are gathered here for him and his Head Honcho Thoughts. He enjoys talking about himself and his highly esteemed accomplishments in the world of villainy, yet, bi-annual meetings are always a drag. He might flake out midway through just for the fuck of it.

The third time’s always the charm because the second he hears another muffled  _ marimba _ coming from his pocket, he throws down his cane and starts fishing for the Device from Hell. He feels as though sold his soul to obtain it, even though he never had a soul in the first place. Technology, he sighs inwardly, will do that to even a primeval creature of the night such as himself.

“Excuse me, you worthless lot of truly awful individuals. I’ll be taking this call. I suppose you can hang onto your junk until I return.”

He heads off into the nearest corner and brings the phone to his ear, briefly catching a glimpse of the new background image Demencia set for him. It's a selfie she took on that bloody Chat Snap, hearts floating above her head while she blows a kiss to the camera. His eyes narrow and he furiously swipes to answer.

“ _ What _ ,” his voice grates, “could you possibly need at this exact moment in time that couldn’t wait five minutes,  _ my darling _ .”

“Hello,  _ my love _ . Weather’s lovely today, isn’t it —”

“ _ Demencia _ . I am in the middle of a meeting. What is so important? What is the urgent news, the big  _ scoop _ that inclined you call on three separate occasions?”

The demon listens to her snicker on the other end, the faint plop of her sitting down on what he assumed was his chair.

“Your office looks so sad without you in it, all desolate and minimalist-chic. The only thing that really screams  _ you _ is the ass mark you left in the chair. Feels nice, though.”

There’s a brief pause for a moment, and when she talks next her voice is lower than before.

“So...what are you wearing?”

He pinches where his nose would be, exhaling. “Trousers and a dress shirt, Demencia. I’m in a meeting.”

He can almost hear her nodding, shifting her position in his chair.

“That’s funny, because I’m wearing absolutely nothing and practically  _ dripping  _ with boredom.”

At this exact moment in time Black Hat goes rigid and swallows hard, immediately catching the innuendo.

“It’s a shame, really, that you’re not here right now. When’re supposed to be home again? If it’s too long I might find a little somethin’ somethin’ to do and... _ please myself _ .”

The villains’ idle chatter comes to a complete standstill, all heads whipping up to see Black Hat in the corner of the room, frantically choking on a cough, unbeknownst to their stares.

“ _ Demencia _ —”

The sound of elastic snapping interrupts him. He listens to her moan straight into the receiver, the leather of his chair moving beneath her as she squirms around.

“Oops, I was lying, boss. I  _ was _ wearing a thong, but now I’m not. So sorry you couldn’t see it, awh, boo.”

Black Hat digs his nails into the wall. Other villains start scooting their chairs away from his convulsing figure, which is now on fire.

“You conniving little  _ minx _ . One more word, and I’ll have your head on a stick.”

The line goes silent for second, until he picks up the faintest of whimpers, leather rubbing against bare skin.

“Oh,  _ god _ . Keep talking like that, baby, and I’ll start without you.”

Black Hat swings around and stumbles to the front of the room, leaving a path of flames in his wake.

“Alright meeting adjourned! Very smashing to see all of you again, but I must be off! Don’t take care and rot in hell!”

With that, he materializes himself away from there and back into his office, spotting his vixen of an employee stretched across his chair, looking entirely naked and utterly smokin’.

Demencia stands up when she see him, haphazardly chucking her phone behind her as he surges towards her, slamming her against the wall with enough force to make her cry out in pleasure. When he kisses her, hard and deep, she mewls into his mouth and allows his greedy hands to wander across her body, totally loving the manhandling going on right now. His body continues to press into hers, and he grinds his growing member against her front.

“My sweet little lizard, do you know how agonizing those meetings are? How I would absolutely  _ love _ to pulverize every one of those mutton-headed  _ boobs  _ into a fine micro powder? I play myself for a fool even showing up.”

He begins sliding his hands down to her rear, pushing her harder into the wall. “But this,” he purrs, fully gripping her ass, “is where I’d much rather be.”

Demencia’s expression softens and she brings a hand to his cheek, leg wrapping around him as a distraction for when she suddenly pushes forward, flipping their position so  _ he’s _ the one with his back to the wall.

Black Hat sputters out a string of incomprehensible babble, the girl shoving her thigh between his legs so she can see him go red.

“I know,” she whispers, voice stirring with arousal. Retaliating, her hands find their way to  _ his _ behind and she squeezes, a delightful little squeak coming out of her boss. “I would much rather have you here, too,  _ my darling _ .”

His eyes are wide for a second until he settles into her touch, a claw to her cheek.

“Then show me,  _ my love _ .”


End file.
